I think we can all agree that parenthood is a beautiful, chaotic, life-affirming, stress-inducing whirlwind. Between feedings, nap schedules, and the never-ending cycle of laundry, romance can easily fall by the wayside…But fear not, weary parents! Intimacy after kids is absolutely achievable, and it can be even more fulfilling knowing you’re both making the effort to keep the spark (and not just the children) alive.
Here are some tips to help you navigate intimacy as a couple after the arrival of your little ones…
Acknowledge the Challenges
- Fatigue is Real: New-borns (and toddlers!) are notorious sleep stealers. Don’t beat yourself up if you’re too exhausted for anything more than collapsing on the couch at the end of the day.
- Body Image Shifts: Pregnancy and childbirth can take a toll on your body. Be kind to yourself and remember that your partner likely still finds you incredibly attractive. Open communication about your feelings can be key to rekindling!
- Logistic Landmines: Finding uninterrupted alone time can feel like an Olympic sport. Crying fits, forgotten bedtime stories, and the ever-present fear of a surprise visitor can throw a wrench in even the best-laid plans. So, get creative!
Strategies for Success
- Small Steps, Big Impact: You don’t need hours of uninterrupted passion to reignite intimacy. Start with small gestures like a neck massage, cuddling on the couch, or a playful foot rub. These little gestures go a long way indeed.
- Schedule Some Fun: Treat intimacy like a date night. Put the baby monitor on high alert, enlist the help of a babysitter, or swap childcare duties with a friend. Even a stolen hour can make a world of difference when it comes to the bedroom.
- Communication is Paramount: Talk to your partner about your needs and desires. Be honest about your fatigue levels and explore ways to make intimacy work for both of you.
- Rediscover Your Sensuality: Don’t forget to take some time for yourself, even if it’s just a quick shower or a few minutes reading a book in peace. Feeling good about yourself can translate into a more fulfilling sex life.
Embrace New Forms of Intimacy
- Non-Sexual Touch: Don’t underestimate the power of non-sexual touch. Holding hands, cuddling while watching TV, or a sensual back rub can all build intimacy and connection.
- Explore Together: Sometimes, a little self-discovery can spark a fire. Read a book or article about intimacy together, explore new massage techniques, or watch a movie together that sets the mood for further…bonding.
- Embrace Solo-play: If you’ve been struggling to feel sexy and rediscover your libido after childbirth, a little solo-play can work wonders for your confidence and sexual desire. In the same breath, if you are conscious of the fact that your man perhaps isn’t getting as much attention from you as he desires, why not treat him to a male masturbator (or masturbateur homme as they say in French) to tide him over!?
Final Thoughts
- It’s a Marathon, not a Sprint: Rekindling intimacy takes time and effort. Be patient with yourselves and celebrate even the smallest of victories.
- Focus on Quality Over Quantity: A short, passionate encounter can be more fulfilling than hours of tired sex! Embrace the quickie, baby!
- Keep the Fun Alive: Don’t let intimacy become a chore. Laughter and playfulness are essential ingredients for a healthy sex life.
Having kids doesn’t have to mean the end of your sex life. Acknowledge the challenges, implement practical strategies, and embrace new forms of intimacy to keep the flame burning and strengthen your relationship while you’re at it!
