When you are ready to quit an unhappy marriage there are a lot of things to rearrange. You will crave support and maybe new romantic relationships to cheer yourself up in one of the toughest periods of your life. Although it is up to you to decide whether you need dating during divorce with children, it is also your responsibility to care not to harm your children and worsen the divorce outcomes in the process. Here are some tips for you to follow if you want to date successfully even before the divorce is over.
No matter how down you feel going through the online divorce and terminating your failed marriage, you shouldn’t hurry to jump into new relationships on the spot. Never listen to your friends or relatives who advise you to have an affair to help you heal after divorce. Start a relationship only when you feel you are fully ready for and really need it in your life.
Another point of ‘no hurry’ refers to the development of your new relationships as well. Let your romance go slow and don’t fall in love too easily, either don’t build bog hopes about your new partner. You are still emotionally vulnerable after an unhappy marriage, so another failure may break you completely.
Don’t Date Openly
If you decide to date, don’t show off about it. You’d better not expose what’s going on in your private life either to your ex or to your kids. Maybe your former spouse has nothing against you seeing someone, but putting this under their nose may turn your ex into revengeful mode and spoil the divorce outcomes for you. The same goes for your kids. They will always hope for you to reunite with their parent, so by exposedly dating another partner, you can only make your children lose trust in you.
It is strongly advised to be careful with personal calls, words, gestures, and evidence of your new date when you are around your former spouse or children.
Don’t Use Dating Tools
Dating before divorce is final is a risky choice. You never know how this fact can be used against you in the divorce process. So, it is better for you not to leave any traces of your new romantic life. This means that the use of dating tools such as daring apps and websites is a definite ‘no’. Even if you prefer to stay anonymous or use fake names, sooner or later the truth may be revealed and the aftermath will be far from positive. The judge may count your involvement as proof of infidelity and you will lose the privileges in a divorce process.
Don’t Introduce Your New Date Before Time
Once you find an appropriate partner to date with, you may have a great desire to share about your luck with your children, friends, or prove to your ex that you are happy without them. But there is no need for early actions. You can only make things worse.
First, it is necessary to determine whether your children or any other beloved is ready to meet your new partner and whether your relationships are serious enough to be introduced to your closest ones. If you need advice on how to choose the right time or how to make the introduction itself, it is better to reach for professional help to succeed in the end.
Do Proceed with Divorce
No matter how tired you are of the divorce process, you need to work on it so that your marriage termination comes to an end. Don’t escape your divorce issues by getting overwhelmed with a new affair. If you start new relationships, be ready to combine divorcing and dating without losing touch in any. In case you feel you may lack time or energy for recreating your private life before you finalize the previous chapter, prefer to do the first things first.
Do Review Divorce Agreement
Get ensured that your new relationships will not harm you due to the terms of your divorce agreement. For example, if you receive child or spousal support, the divorce agreement may stipulate the decrease or discontinuation of any if you participate in long-term romantic or sexual relationships. So, before you make any drastic changes in your personal life, refer to your divorce agreement whether you may lose any benefits as a result.
Do Be Honest
Taking into account that dating while divorce is pending is not the top advantageous decision, you should be hundreds of percent sure that the affair is worth it. That is why you need to be honest with yourself and your new partner. If you hesitate whether to date or not and hardly see a point in romantic relationships so soon, don’t force yourself into it. This is honesty with yourself. In addition, if you still decide to date someone, be open to them as well. Tell about your divorce and family issues for both of you to know what to expect.
Do Spend Time with Your Kids
Dating during divorce with children should never mean that you sacrifice your time with kids in order to fix your personal life. Divorce is a tough period not only for you and your former spouse but even more for your children. So, it is essential to be more around them, listen, support, and spend quality time together, and never ever trade your children for a new partner.